Being Seen & Heard As A Reflector: Part One

This is such a huge topic that I've made it into a two part series (to start). In Part One we'll explore the what and why of Reflector visibility. Part Two will focus on a key strategies for showing up and being seen in all your glory.

Let's get started!

Once you discover you're a Human Design Reflector, a line gets drawn in the sand. Before and after. Maybe you thought back to some of the important decisions and experiences in your life up until now and saw them differently through this new Reflector lens. That was the case for me, and what I saw was a little unsettling. After mindlessly floating through major life events based on the wants and needs of everyone else, it became clear really fast why I never felt fulfilled.

Any of this sound familiar?

Because Reflectors can adapt to any situation, it's easy for others (and ourselves) to believe we're on board with what's happening in the moment. It takes us a beat to realize we don't actually want to be in that job, relationship, location, and by then it might feel too late to say anything or make a change.

Part of learning that you're a Reflector is asking questions about how to live as this unique type moving forward. And if you look at old school Human Design teachings, the future looks pretty bleak for Reflectors. So much of the HD info out there makes it seem like Reflectors are soulless blobs that go around mirroring what everyone else does, without any free will.

I don't buy it, and neither should you.

Openness- Why Reflectors Get Lost In The Mix

All 9 centres in a Reflector's chart are open, meaning there isn't a consistent way you experience…well, anything. Other types might have a defined solar plexus and they'll experience emotional waves the same way over time.

Not us!

We feel the big energies around us at a personal scale, like with our families, and on a collective level too. COVID was an absolute dumpster fire of emotions for everyone but guess who experienced all of it like they were drinking from a fire hydrant? Reflectors, of course.

It's so easy for us to experience things through the lens of those around us that you might find yourself wondering who the heck you really are. This is a journey for you to go on, not something any one person can tell you.

Here's the truth about being fully open. Reflectors are chameleons who can adapt to just about anything, making us incredibly versatile. Maybe you've had jobs in a bunch of unrelated fields or lived in 20 different cities.

 
This is actually a gift, even if it's not obvious at first. It can allow us to have a variety of life experiences, learn about subjects that randomly grab your interest, and be part of communities that otherwise would seem unlikely.

There is a caveat though.

Openness is a massive gift and it requires ongoing mindful attention. So many Reflectors have big hearts and beautiful intentions but find themselves so deep in a life that seemed to somehow just happen. To use your openness as the superpower it really is, you'll need to be aware of who you interact with, what you agree to, and where you go.

Even things like going out for dinner can trip up a Reflector if they're not prepared. Have you ever been out with friends and ended up making food or drink choices you normally wouldn't? Like finishing an entire bottle of wine when your comfortable zone is just one glass. Chances are you picked up on the energy of your friends and mirrored them. Happens to the best of us.

The longer you just go along for the ride, the farther away you'll get from your true self.
Mindfulness about these things will go a long way to protect your health, energy, and wellbeing. More on this in Part Two of this series.

Sampling and Reflecting Aura- Who's Behind The Mirror?

Having the ability to show others who they are by reflecting is one of the coolest things we can do. My issue here is that this reflecting gift gets taken waaaay too literally.

Yes, we're super impressionable and can pick up on the faintest hint of emotions, sometimes before the other person even realizes they have them. But that doesn't mean you immediately morph into the person you're standing in front of. Many of the Reflector descriptions in technical Human Design are vague, complicated, and hard to pinpoint in real life.

Here's a distinction.

Something you have is not always something you are.

An ability to reflect others isn't the same as you BEING a reflection of others. This can be a bit of a mind twist if you're used to holding onto the identity you're reflecting.

Allow me to use a silly example to explore this distinction.

Say you get a job as an astronaut. There are two ways to describe this scenario. You could say "I am an astronaut" or you could say "I work as an astronaut". The first statement is identity based (I am), while the second is more temporary. You may work as an astronaut for a week, month, or years…who knows. But when you adopt "I am" statements you're internalizing a situation and holding onto an identity that might not serve you as a Reflector.

When you're in a room with excited people, you'll probably feel that in some way. But if you only set foot in that room once, are YOU an excited person or are you just feeling excited? It's probably the feeling.

Taking the time to check in with yourself a few times each day will help you recognize the real you so it's easier to see when you're experiencing a reflection. Heck, you might even give yourself a nickname when you're reflecting to differentiate between that experience and your own self.

For example, I feel very comfortable in my own being when I first wake up in the morning. There's no lingering energy zipping through my system from the day before and I feel fresh. That's ME. This weekend I went to an expo with hundreds of people and was chatty and upbeat the whole time. That was Reflector Lindsay. She was picking up on all the good vibes and striking up conversations with people at the vendor booths. As soon as I walked through the exit, I took a huge breath in and exhaled everything. It started my process of getting back to me after I'd been experiencing others so intensely. I also did a quick guided meditation when I arrived at home and then had a nap. I could feel the real me slowly return.

Reflecting others doesn't mean there's nothing behind the mirror.

You are a soul with a purpose, you have values, beliefs, and dreams. You're someone with a personality, and guess what? You're probably going to grow and change as you move through life.

With all the reflecting we do, I believe Reflectors are capable of learning and growing way faster than others. Be gentle with yourself. It can be tough to pinpoint the real you because "you" is constantly evolving. That's not a bad thing, we just live in a world where the other 99% are more consistent in the experience of who they are.

You're allowed to have fun with your Reflector gifts, and the more you play around with them, the easier it gets to recognize the real you!

We're the Rare 1%- No One Will Ever Understand Me

For better or worse, being a Reflector means there aren't that many of us, relatively speaking. Lots of people have never even met a Reflector in real life!

One premise of Human Design is that there are exactly as many of each type in the world at any given time as there needs to be. We're each here to be the highest expression of ourselves by living by our strategy and authority, and using the gifts we have. That's true for all types. 

I believe that Reflectors are so special and play such an important role that it's not necessarily our job to be fully understood by everyone else.

Magicians never reveal their tricks, so maybe we don't need to either.

How you feel about being super rare? Do you enjoy the uniqueness or feel lost in the mix?

Stay tuned for Part Two of this series where we'll dive into the strategies for feeling truly seen and heard as a Reflector.