A Reflector's Life Purpose, Reframed

In this post we're diving into your purpose. Not the life purpose you think you should have, or one you're expected to have. We're going to go on an exploration of your purpose as if you're about to meet the best friend you could ever want…I call this Purpose Reframed.

As you've probably noticed, the topic of purpose has come up quite a bit lately and I don't think for a minute that this is an accident. The world has gone through many transformations in the last five years (Covid, anyone?) and nothing causes us to reflect on what the heck we're doing with our lives quite like this kind of disruption.

Before I knew my Human Design, every time I had an innovative idea or concept, I'd think "THIS is it! This is my purpose" only to have it fizzle out and feel devastatingly disappointed. Typical Reflector move! But that's just me.

Every one of us is here for a reason, so of course it's only natural to wonder what that reason could be and how we can fulfil that role.

When we're kids, the grown ups would ask what we want to be when we got older, and initially we could say anything and it was accepted. For example, do you know any children who've said they want to be a princess or a superhero when they grow up? But as the years go on, this question of "what you want to be when you grow up?" or "What do you want to DO with your life?" becomes more a conversation about career path than mission. Our imaginative answers go away as we age because the expectations around what we do with our lives becomes more "serious".

If I were to ask which life area we usually focus on in discussions about purpose, I think the general consensus would be that purpose belongs in the work/business/career realm. For the most part, there is a sentiment that if you're not getting paid to do it, it's not a real purpose, it's more of a hobby or a phase that you'll grow out of.

What I hear most from people when we're having this type of conversation is that purpose is something you search for or work towards. Like a means to an end.

But purpose isn't something you search for, work on, or even achieve (check out this blog post for more!). The name alone says it all: it's a life-long commitment, not an item on a to-do list that you get to cross off and be done with.

Do you know what to do if you get stuck in quicksand? Stop struggling. The more you struggle, the farther down you get sucked in, and the worse off you are.

What if I told you the same is true for your purpose? That once you release the need for control and you stop struggling to get there, you'll be much better off.

And what if the more you just lived your everyday life, the faster you'd experience your purpose, and with more joy, fulfilment and alignment.

Starting the Reframe

A reframe is simply a new way of experiencing something. You can reframe your relationships, your health, your finances, and together, we can absolutely reframe life's purpose.

We're going to begin reframing what your purpose is by getting clarity around what it could be if we were open and curious.

In particular, I propose 3 shifts as part of this reframe, and I'll ask you to consider these as questions.

1. What if your purpose was in all life areas?

The whole institution of work and the high value it's been given, is completely socially created. We are not meant to have purpose only from 9-5 Monday to Friday and then we're purposeless on the weekend. We are multi-faceted beings with inter-connected lives that change significantly from birth to death. There is no age limit on purpose either. When you were a little kid playing outside or colouring with crayons on the wall, even if that got you in trouble, that was you living your purpose at that stage of life. The Universe does not segment your life into work, hobbies, family time, or any other category. Life is life, no matter how you're spending that time or who you're with.

Can you start to imagine a world where you're experiencing your life's purpose as you're away on vacation or making a meal in your kitchen?

2. What if your purpose was a theme, not an event?

When purpose is talked about the traditional way, it's described as something to work towards and complete. But that doesn't even make sense. If we can consider purpose as more of a theme than a specific task, it opens things up for way more fulfilment and joy. Reframing it into a theme is the difference between believing you're meant to find a cure for only one disease, and understanding that your problem-solving gifts can apply in the medical field, as your family's peace-maker, as someone who helps find a solution for all the garbage in your community, and so on.

Can you be open to seeing your purpose as a common thread that's woven throughout your life, rather than one notable venture?

3. What if your purpose was always within you?

You get to decide what kind of a relationship you'd like to have with your purpose, instead of feeling forced to make it the all-consuming singular focus in your life. And just like with any friendship or romantic partnership, there's a commitment involved. It's also ok for the level of interest and intensity to vary with your purpose.

Remember when you were a teenager, how important your closest friends were? It's like we were tethered to them for support and self-esteem during those strange times. And maybe you've come into a life stage where you've drifted away from your friends as you build a career or family, or explore the world. It doesn't mean they're not still there, it's just different. Even if you experience a major life event that propels you more deeply into your purpose, it doesn't mean that the specific event was or is the only way for you to express your purpose. It is always available to you and has always been there inside of you, waiting.

There's freedom in this shift as well because not all of us are meant to go full speed ahead on things. Your energy and emotions will be largely dependent on your Human Design, so there is no one size fits all model for how you interact with your purpose. The relationship you cultivate with your purpose is up to you but it is always available within you to call upon. No need to wait for someone else to tell you how it should look.

These are 3 of my favourite reframes for life's purpose but as you become good friends with yours, there may be other parts that you'd like to reframe as well, and that is 100% your call.

Ok, so we know your purpose is not just a job, and it's more of a theme than one project or event, and it's also already within you...So what is it?

Grab your chart, we're diving into your Human Design.

Your Incarnation Cross

Your Human Design chart contains your unique life's purpose theme and it's available for you to access it whenever you want. The part of your chart where it's found is called the Incarnation Cross.

Most times when you pull your chart you'll see your Incarnation Cross listed with its name and the numbers next to it but if yours doesn't have it spelled out, you can just look to the top two gates on your design side and also the top two gates on your personality side. These are your sun and earth gates. See the image below as an example.

Individually, these gates each have their own meaning, which will be influenced by whichever centre they're located in. But combined, the four gates also tell a story and are formed into your unique life purpose theme.

When I first heard about Human Design and someone told me that my chart would reveal my life's purpose, I knew I had to check it out. For me it was one of the biggest reasons for trying to understand this whole science of differentiation.

And then I get my chart and it says Left Angle Cross of Incarnation, and I was like, huh? What does that even mean! So I dug deeper into the description and it gradually started to make sense…but I wasn't sure how I felt about it. It was described in a way that I couldn't easily put my finger on it and say "this thing is my purpose".

No one tells you that once you learn your purpose you might still feel confused or detached from it. Even having it right there in your chart, it can sometimes feel really far removed from your actual life.

Creating Your Purpose Statement

Now, I know that some Human Design language is hard to understand and integrate into real life. So I want to make it easier for you.

Whether you know the name and description of your Incarnation Cross or not, you have access to everything you need to connect with your purpose in a way that is uniquely yours.

I came up with something that I call the Purpose Statement, which is 1-2 sentences summing up your Incarnation Cross in easy to understand language. My hope was that this reminder would encourage me to live by my design even when it felt uncomfortable, and in the end it did way more for me than that.

Saying your purpose in a sentence or two can make it feel more real and helps to see things clearly in different life areas. You can use it as a mantra, a commitment, or something you look to whenever you need some guidance. And it comes in really handy as a reminder of how fluidly your purpose flows through each life area, since you can repeat it to yourself whenever you want.

Now, for those who don't know, I have a book called Reflector Reframe that just came out . It's the ultimate roadmap for Human Design Reflectors but I've also included the Purpose Statement activity in the book, and not just for Reflectors, it's for all types.

The book makes it super easy to create your very own purpose statement because I've included a description for each of the 64 gates AND added a special Empowerment Statement for each as well, which lets you DIY your purpose statement. I highly recommend picking up a copy and going through this fun and highly impactful exercise. Plus, when you pre-order the book before October 15, 2024 you can get in on a special bonus workshop where I'll take you through the Purpose Statement exercise (and more!). Click here for all the details.

Purpose is something we each get to have a special relationship with throughout life. I promise that once you have your own Purpose Statement you'll begin to see so many examples of this theme, even in regular daily life.