Are Reflectors Better Off Alone?

The unpredictable energy. All the feelings and emotions coming at us. Oh, and the ridiculously long decision-making process. Kinda makes you wonder if Human Design Reflectors would be better off living away from all the other types, doesn't it?

I've heard some pretty intense stories of how Reflectors pulled themselves away from their friends and networks because things got to be too much for them to handle. The constant sensing and knowing when things are off can take a serious toll, and opting out of that life is an option. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Each Human Design type is needed to make the world go 'round, and more than that, the composition of types is actually really important. Sometimes it can seem like since Reflectors make up only around 1% of the population that we're so far out in left field no one will ever understand us. We're lunar beings, they're solar beings. Our centres are wide open, they've got some definition. In a world where we're used to pinpointing the differences between ourselves and others, it's easy to approach your Human Design type with an us versus them mentality.

But here's the truth. We're all in this together.

There are exactly as many Reflectors as there needs to be on Earth at this point in time. Just like there are as many Generators, Mani-Gens, Projectors, and Manifestors as we need to collectively fulfil our purpose. Think of it this way;  Generators and Manifesting Generators together make up around 70% of the population right now because there's a lot of doing required. But without the revolutionary ideas coming from the Manifestors and astute guidance provided by Projectors, there would be total chaos. Now factor in Reflectors. We may not be on centre stage in the grand scheme of things but how would the world begin to recalibrate when things veer off course without us?

No one else has the sensing abilities we Reflectors have, and while it's not always easy to deal with what we feel, it's such an important gift that would be taken away from the collective if we took ourselves out of the picture.

Here's a personal confession that might ruffle some feathers. I really enjoyed the pandemic lockdowns. Not the illness or distress of the world, but the isolation. It felt like utter relief after being saturated in the anxious, frantic, and externally-driven world I was living in. Being forced to stay at home helped me reset my energy and in doing so, I discovered a different way to share my gifts. Below are a few ways to let your talents shine and use your energy productively.

Be Selective About Your Circle

You may have heard that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That little tidbit never really landed with me until I learned about Human Design. Then it was like a wave of realization. Of course we become like those we surround ourselves with. There's a deep social need to be accepted by our tribe and to get this acceptance we take on behaviours to show that we're just like everyone else. Except that sometimes these social norms, like glorifying high-pressure 12 hour work days, aren't actually in anyone's best interest.

That's where Reflectors come in. We are SO needed to spend time in our chosen circle of friends, colleagues, and family to sound the alarm when the social temperature gets too hot or too cold. It's important that you select which groups to be part of so you can have the biggest impact. In the past I've found myself dragged into a community (real life or virtual) only to realize it wasn't the right time or place for me to have any kind of effect. So I left.

If your crew is always leaving you feeling drained, that's a sign you need to pay attention to. If you sit with the same colleagues at lunch everyday and their constant gossip leaves you in a slump, it's time to get to know some new people. You're not a kid anymore. It's safe for you to be selective about who you spend time with, even if you can't control the environment.

Dive Into A Hobby

I never thought that my need to start a website way back in 2018 would lead to "website building" being one of my favourite hobbies (and a business!). It started with honest curiosity and led to skills and abilities I never dreamed of having, especially with my education background in Sociology and land use planning. But more than anything it connected me with a really amazing community of people who were also on a journey of discovery in this realm. And guess what? There were lots of ways for me to contribute as a Reflector.

Since Reflectors are super curious by nature, it should come as no surprise that we'll pick up hobbies (and drop them) pretty quickly. Forget about the whole getting bored thing for a minute though. What's great about having a hobby or finding something that interests you is that there are other people who share this interest. And what better way to strike up a conversation than with a fellow gardener or quilting enthusiast. Whether you connect online or in person doesn't matter. What matters is that you'll be being a Reflector with anyone you interact with, and since the over-arching theme is something fun, it's a non-threatening (and not draining) way to live your design. Yay!

Don't Take Things So Seriously

It's easy to think about your role as a Reflector with some level of seriousness. That's natural and it's true that you have a real purpose to fulfil in your lifetime. But don't for one second think that unless your paid work lets you live out your Reflector-ness that your gifts don't count. We've attached way too much value to what we "do" for a living, and have unnecessarily anchored our worth to it. You're being a Reflector when you're in your family unit at home around the dinner table. You're being a Reflector when you go out for drinks with your friends. And you're being a Reflector when you carpool the neighbourhood kids to school.

Purpose and contribution come in many forms, so don't discount your impact just because it feels like play.

Go Where You Feel Valued

Being the chameleons that we are, we're in high demand to join groups and memberships, and can get caught up making commitments to things that aren't a good fit. I've talked before about Reflector challenges when it comes to being seen and heard, and it really is a factor that makes being alone seem like a decent option.

Connecting with others in social and professional settings requires extra attention to your strategy and authority before you agree to anything, especially if it's a lengthy commitment. Ask to attend meetings as a guest to see the group dynamic and understand what you can contribute in that setting. This is something I learned the hard way when I agreed to be in a mastermind group without first having a solid grasp on the role of the members, goals of the meetings, and knowing whose expertise would be weighing in.

It's ok to be selective. In fact, because you'll engage in a more aligned way when you feel valued and appreciated, you'd be doing yourself and others a disservice by NOT being selective.

Human Design gives each of us a truth-telling mechanism inside our body that we can use anytime we need clarity on who we should be around or if an environment is healthy to be in. It's your strategy and authority. Sure, you might need to wait a while to discover the truth but because your purpose as a Reflector is so incredibly significant in the world, it's 100% worth the wait to know for sure. Reflectors are part of the bigger picture we all fit into, and it wouldn't be the same without us.