Dealing with Pressure to "Do"

Have you ever been around someone who seemed to buzz with limitless energy and was always on the go? Whether they were checking things off their to do list in rapid succession, putting in long hours at work, or simply being a busy body, they were constantly doing things.

These people are likely not Reflectors.

 
With all our centres undefined, there's no internal motor to propel Reflectors into consistent motion. We can borrow this lifeforce energy from Generators and other energetic Human Design types but for better or worse, Reflectors aren't meant to always be doing.

Think about some of the common conversation points that come up in daily conversation and you'll quickly see that filling your day with activities and tasks is the norm, while doing nothing is seen as lazy.

Co-workers might ask what you did on the weekend and friends will text to find out what your plans are for dinner. If you're like many Reflectors, these questions can feel awkward and put you on the spot to list off things to show how you fill your time.

The reality, however, is that Reflectors aren't here to DO lots of things.

I don't mean we're not capable of creating and executing on things that are important to us…it's just way more nuanced than simply being busy all the time.

According to Human Design, Reflectors are designed to observe, feel out situations and relationships, and reflect back to others what's going on so that adjustments can be made. All of this is with the goal of helping ALL types live in harmony according to their own design.

In the hustle and grind culture we live in, it's easy for Reflectors to be looked over as not doing what it takes to fit in or succeed. And this is exactly how we have been conditioned to live as the other 99% of people live. It works for them, helps them stay focused and on track, and use up the natural energy their bodies generate.

For Reflectors trying to fit into this mold it can feel totally exhausting and counterintuitive, which is why it's important to understand how most of us have been conditioned by these beliefs that value visible output over mindful contemplation.

If you're just starting out with Human Design or are looking to better identify areas in your life where you've been conditioned to act as the 99%, here are some examples to consider:

• Acting busy: I'd bet the concept of "being busy" was created by a Generator. They've got energy to spare and are happiest hitting the ground running and not stopping until everything is finished! Reflectors process ideas, interactions, relationships, and just about everything else in a much slower way. And that's a good thing! Trying to cram an entire to do list into your day pushes out your ability to go with the flow and experience the Reflector's sign of alignment, which is surprise.
• Proving productivity: Along the same lines as being busy, Reflectors may feel intense pressure to show concrete examples of how productive they've been during the day. For me personally, the question "What did you do today?" makes me cringe because my productivity isn't measured in the same way a non-Reflector would be able to measure theirs. Having to quantify output is another socially constructed pressure that simply doesn't apply to Reflectors. This is why it's so important for everyone to know and understand their Human Design, so we can be respectful of how we each operate best.
• Predictability: If you've ever been fully immersed in something that has your full attention, you've probably felt time disappear and before you knew it, hours had gone by in the blink of an eye. That's called being in flow, and boy is it a wonderful state to be in! Reflectors are here to be nudged and guided into different areas of interest that catch their attention. On the one hand, this gives the illusion to the outside world that we Reflectors have consistent energy and excitement about certain things and that these will always be of interest to us. Not so! Our telltale sign of alignment, surprise, is most often achieved when we allow ourselves to try new things and detach from the belief that if we love something today, we must love it forever. When it comes to conditioning, think about the pressure to pick a career path and stick to it for decades. It's like asking a child to wear the same Halloween costume every year. Their interests are going to change and so will ours.

You may have lots of other examples from your own life where you feel out of place or misunderstood when it comes to the pressure to do. 

We are all human beings and it's ok that how we do things looks different from person to person. Raising awareness of these differences is a great first step to bringing acceptance for the unique ways we each operate.