Personal Development For Reflectors

How can Reflectors work on themselves to become better?

This was a question I received from one of the Reflectors in our community and I've been pondering it ever since.

Personal development is a general term for when someone wants to make changes in their life to experience positive growth. So how do you make changes to someone who's already everchanging?

There are 3 themes to consider when exploring the wonderful world of personal development for Reflectors. Don't be surprised if one of them hits deeper for you than the others. We're all at different stages of our journey and no matter where you are right now, this is the perfect time for you to start exploring this topic.

*A quick note on personal development: I believe we all have capacity to grow and evolve, which is why I like the term "personal development". You may hear other terms such as "self-improvement", and that's one I get squirmy about because it implies that we're not good enough as we are. There are enough negative messages out in the world so please be mindful of how you speak to and about yourself.

Ok, here we go.

It All Starts With A Vision

Most people find themselves in the world of growth and development because of some catalyst that's lit a fire underneath them. Maybe something stirred deep inside you and you knew you were destined for more but weren't sure how to get there or what that mysterious thing would look like. Or perhaps you saw something inspiring and your curiosity ran wild.

Either way, to begin growing into the best version of yourself you first need to know where you are right now. And more importantly, where it is you want to be. Honestly, this is the really fun part but it can trip you up if you start letting the logistics get in the way.

When you were little and the adults in your life asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you probably picked the job or role you were fascinated with at the time. For me, I was obsessed with whales for a while and the thought of getting to learn everything about them made my soul sing. I had my sights set on being a marine biologist. When you're 8 years old and get asked these kinds of questions, no one expects you to lay out a plan for how you'll get to this dream of yours, and for good reason. You're meant to let your imagination run wild, without any limitations, how-to's, or what if's. The vision has to come first!

Fast forward to being an adult and suddenly we're now responsible for all the logistics, plus there are family and financial responsibilities to think about in the mix. Doesn't make for a very exciting vision, does it?

Sadly, this is where many people will stop. They won't even allow themselves the pleasure of dreaming of a future they know deep in their hearts that they want. Please don't let that be you. As Reflectors especially, it's super important to let our minds wander into places we never knew we were interested in. That's one of the great ways you'll get to experience your sign of alignment, which is 'surprise'.

Learning and Unlearning

Having a big vision for yourself isn't just about picking a job or goal, it's more about unlocking the version of yourself you know you came here to be. That version of you has limitless options when it comes to the kind of job, relationships, wealth, and joy in your life, so we're really exploring that highest self, not some random New Year's resolution goal.

With that in mind, there are things you'll need to learn to get there. And oh boy, can Reflectors ever get lost down the rabbit hole once something captures their attention! Learning new skills, techniques, and habits can be a thrilling adventure, so let your curiosity run wild here.

On the other side of that coin, personal development is actually more about what you're willing to let go of than what you're going to learn. There are beliefs that hold each of us back and part of the growth experience is bringing awareness to these 'truths' so you can decide if they're supporting you or holding you back.

In Human Design we call this "deconditioning", and it starts by understanding the things we hold as truths. These are our core beliefs and yet sometimes it's hard to remember how we even came to believe these things.

If you're not sure how to approach deconditioning or you'd like to undertake things in a way specifically designed for Reflectors, you can check out Reflector Essentials. There's an entire section dedicated to this topic and it will guide you through the process in an efficient and gentle way.

Baby Steps Forward

Now here's where things really get tailored for Reflectors. Most personal development gurus will tout the need to take "massive action" to get to where you wanna go, but this approach leaves very little room for course-correction. It's not that there's a wrong path for you to take on the journey of growth, however there are some really great benefits of taking smaller steps.

For starters, your nine open centres and connection to the moon mean that you'll feel differently as the moon cycles through all 64 gates in your chart. Feeling into each shift can give you excellent clues about the next action to take (or not take). These are subtle shifts that you'll tend to feel more clearly when you slow down and notice the nuances of how you feel this morning versus what's happening in the evening.

Reflectors are also highly impacted by the energy and emotions that surround them, making it easy to get caught up in excitement about a goal or project that isn't really yours. Taking massive action and going full steam ahead takes you out of your body and right into your thinking mind.

What you want to aim for is smaller steps towards growth so you can feel out if things are aligned for you or not. Wouldn't you rather figure out you're headed the wrong way 5 minutes into a road trip rather than 5 days into it? I sure would! Like I said, there technically aren't any wrong ways, and you'll end up learning what you need to know regardless but the smaller steps approach helps keep you engaged and connected to the bigger vision for yourself, and it gives you room for adaptation since you're going to show up differently each day anyway.

Consider some small changes to your habits or even your environment that can support the vision you have for yourself. There's no need to overhaul your life all at once.

Some Final Thoughts

Your personal growth journey is going to look and feel differently than anyone else's, even other Reflectors'. There's no one in this world who knows you better than you know yourself, so don't be afraid to check in with what you're learning and deconditioning to see how it really feels for you.