Making Sense of Reflector Feelings

In the Reflector By Design blog we've talked about the Reflector aura, how we're lunar beings, and also about our open centres that create our reflecting abilities. This time I'm pulling back the curtain on the feelings we often experience and how to make sense of them.

I can't remember a single day in my life where I felt the same set of feelings throughout a 24 hour period. This isn't unique to Reflectors but of all the Human Design types we're the only ones riding the wave of all 64 gates in a 28-ish day period. On average that means the activation of gates in our charts will change 2-3 times each day! Pair that with intense empathy and the ability to sense how others are doing and it can make for a whirlwind of feelings.

I don't know about you but I used to attempt to pinpoint where every feeling came from so I could rationalize the experience and bring myself back to a happy state. It was a fruitless exercise because there's no end game. What's the point of knowing specifically who or what caused the feeling if I couldn't do anything about it? And also, why use so much of my own precious energy to think these things through when we know feelings aren't logical at all?

If you've ever found yourself confused by the range of feelings and emotions you experience as a Reflector, you're not alone. Below I'm going to share 3 themes that can help you recognize what you're feeling, and help you navigate the experience with a bit more ease.

Clinging to Feelings We Know

Sometimes things feel so good we cling to the experience or people involved to try to recreate it. It's a natural response as our brains seek out ways to get pleasure and avoid pain. Think of a time when you really enjoyed yourself or felt super relaxed after a tough day. Maybe you got into your comfy spot on the couch with a snack and a glass of wine, ready for a Netflix marathon. What happens the next time you have a tough day? You find yourself back on the couch, recreating the past experience.

When something feels really good, it starts a conditioning process where we try to get more of it so there can be a consistent source of happiness. The downside here is that the go-to source of happiness might not always give you the hit of positive feelings you want, and it can actually encourage unhealthy behaviours, like overdoing it with snacks and wine.

Here's the reality for Reflectors. With our wide open centres we amplify the feelings and emotions of others, whether they feel good or not. Trying to create situations with predictable fuzzy feelings kinda takes the magic out of the human experience.

Feel your feelings but try not to get attached to where they came from. If you drop your expectations for how something might make you feel, you open up the possibility for it being better than you could've anticipated. It's exactly from this place that your Reflector sign of alignment (ie. surprise) can show up.

Feeling Before the Result

While we don't want to manufacture situations just to feel good or avoid feeling bad, I've discovered another side of feelings that can trip us up as Reflectors.

Feeling aligned is the ultimate goal for us, right? So what do you do if you can literally feel the gratitude, fulfilment, and joy so intensely but the action needed to get there hasn't taken place yet?

Here's an example. I'm currently writing a book (several, actually) and I can already feel what it's like to have them published, out in the world, and enjoyed by other people. It fills my soul with warmth just thinking about it! So, why then would I even bother going through the motions of physically writing the book? There's a sense of reality in these feelings but the bulk of the action hasn't even happened yet. Now I have two choices. I can sit back and bathe in these incredible sensations but never finish my book or I can feel everything and still make forward progress to complete it.

If you've ever found yourself overcome with joy or gratitude about a future event, here's what's happening. These feelings are the Universe's way of showing you you're on the right track by giving you a taste of what's to come.

Sometimes an experience like this can be a bit terrifying because we feel the alignment so deeply already it's kinda scary to imagine things getting even better. I've even wondered if I'd be able to handle that much utter joy inside my body- since it feels like I might explode if they get any more amplified. Like, who gets to feel this euphoric in their life and am I even deserving of this? Cue the spiral of self doubt.

As a Reflector there are things you get to sense about others and the world around you, that no one else can. Your journey through feelings isn't intended to be linear, as in you start off with no feeling and only get to experience joy once you've completed "the thing". I believe that time and space get a little jumbled for Reflectors as a reminder to follow our curiosity and stay open to being a new being each day.

Ok, but what if you get undesirable feelings before you've taken any action? It's largely the same as it is when you get a preview of those positive feelings. Except that when we experience negative emotions it's usually a sign that we're heading in the opposite direction from our alignment and we need to recalibrate.

But similar to the positive feelings, we might be tempted to believe the negative ones will get more intense as we progress, so why bother taking any action? This duality is one of the greatest challenges for Reflectors. Think of it as a test to see if you're willing to trust yourselves and follow your highest expression. When things feel dicey or off, it's not a sign to take zero action but rather a hint that you absolutely need to take action in a different direction. Staying still probably won't make it go away.

In general, these tastes of big, satisfying feelings are like an appetizer for what's to come, so keep moving in that direction. Any negative feelings are just hints letting you know to try a different path. Listen to them.

Inconvenient Timing of Energy

Few things can rattle a Reflector more than having a plan for what needs to get done but having zero energy to put towards it. Can you relate?

I used to get deeply upset with myself when I'd get a burst of inspiration and only have it last an hour. I'd wonder what the hell the point was to even play with that inspiration when it was just going to leave me so soon. In this case both the timing of this energetic burst and the feelings of disappointment in myself hit hard and the whole experience was really uncomfortable because I'd resisted a natural ebb and flow of energy.

That's when I realized something about our inconsistency as Reflectors. If we're willing to allow ourselves to take rest when we need it, we must be willing to give the same opportunity to our productive bursts when they wash over us, however fleeting it might be.

One time I had a huge wave of inspiration to work on a piece that I'm writing, except my husband was heading out on a business trip the next day and I figured I'd have more (better) time to write when he was gone. By the time he left, my tidal wave of energy had passed and I was stranded in a void where I felt absolutely nothing for the next four days. As in, I couldn't even formulate a thought, let alone write a paragraph! I'd fought against something that came naturally to me and missed the chance to let my inspiration shine, and all because it felt inconvenient.

Most of the time when we feel a certain way about something it comes from unmet expectations around what 'should' happen. We've been led to believe that if we are disciplined we can take action and achieve our goals, and that's true to an extent. However, for Reflectors to live in a state of surprise we absolutely need to let go of conditioning that tells us when and how to operate.

Take your bursts of inspiration and productivity when they come, and don't force yourself when they're not there. Most importantly though is to resist judging yourself throughout the process. It's ok to feel inspired and eager, and it's equally ok to feel introspective or sad.

A Final Thought on Feelings

I fully understand that feelings can be really heavy sometimes. It's uncomfortable to sit with discomfort. In exploring how you feel throughout your day, I hope you begin to recognize that while not all feelings are welcome all the time, trying to force or manufacture happy feelings can leave you feeling worse than if you just let the undesirable feelings come and go on their own.

We Reflectors are in this together, so if you need some support or someone to soundboard your thoughts with, click here to reach out.