Reflector Q&A

I get so many questions each week through the "Ask a Reflector" button, email, and on social media so I wanted to do a bit of a rapid fire response to some of the most recent ones!

#1 My Incarnation Cross doesn't really make sense. How can I relate to it?

Ah, this question hits home for so many Reflectors because sometimes the way the incarnation cross is described is a bit vague or hard to apply in the real world. Here's my suggestion if you would like a deeper understanding of your Incarnation Cross- consider what the energy is behind the definition. This is found in the four gates that make up your Incarnation Cross!

For example, the Right Angle Cross of the Four Ways (19/33|44/24) says its driven by the energy to make sure everyone has what they need. This one is all about the drive to feed people but when you look a little deeper into each of the gates that form this cross, they're about understanding and appreciating the authentic needs of others, caring deeply about fairness, helping others be heard, and spotting patterns. So it's likely that you care about the wellbeing of others and want to help them create a life that takes care of their needs so they can thrive.

#2 Should Reflectors sleep alone?

There's a lot of controversy around whether non-energy types should sleep alone and it comes from the ideal that if you're holding onto energy from other people, you won't be able to rest soundly. I fully agree with this but sleeping alone is only one way to remove stray energy that might be bouncing around in you.

Here are some other ideas:

• Get out in nature to disperse energy back into the ground. Mother Nature will gladly accept your energy and she'll leave you feeling more grounded as you get ready to sleep.
• Wind down before bed. This goes for all types, not just Reflectors. Even the Generators need to make sure they've used all their energy before going to sleep or they won't get a good rest. For us Reflectors, quiet time away from electronic devices is a must!
• Create a serene sleep environment. Regardless of who shares your bedroom, your sleep will suffer if it feels chaotic. So clean it out, get rid of any work-related items that would shift your mind into thinking mode, make sure your bed is comfy and that you're not disturbed by lights. Blackout curtains are a wonderful thing.

#3 How can I make decisions that are more aligned, even when it's not a big thing that takes 28 days?

This was part of a conversation I had recently and I shared with the person that I reserve my 28 day decisions for things that are in certain life areas (like home environment and travel) but not others. She was curious how I decide for those other things and I told her that I can make decisions quickly for lots of things because I've already decided on them.

Let me explain. My values are freedom, impact, and growth, so I know what those look like in my mind and I know what they feel like in my body. If something were to come up, like getting to speak at the International Human Design Conference (which I did this weekend!) I can say yes in an instant because I've known for a loooong time that doing something like this is part of how I want to grow personally and professionally, and how I want to help serve others.

 
So, take stock of your primary values and see what those feel like for you. When the time comes to decide, you can compare the invitation to see if it aligns with your values. If not, stick with the lunar cycle.

#4 Why is a Reflector's not self theme called "disappointment"? What does that actually mean?

Disappointment can feel like a strange term to describe how we feel, so I'll try to make sense of the reason behind that label. Reflectors face so many expectations about how we should live our lives in this fast-paced world, and since that's not how we're designed to operate, we fall short of those expectations.

Sometimes it's not even other people who create the expectations of us though, and it's all about the stories we tell ourselves about what our lives should look like. And when we're not able to live up to those expectations there are LOTS of negative feelings that come up. Guilt, shame, fear, confusion…the list goes on. Any of those sound familiar? So to bundle all of those feelings into one neat package, it was simply called "disappointment" in Human Design.

I invite you to use your own language to describe how you experience those feelings of misalignment. Afterall, your design is meant to help you live your truest self, not put you in a box.

#5 How do I know if I'm interested in something or it's just someone else's interests?

This is a question every Reflector should ask themselves, since we're so open to feeling others' excitements about, well…everything. When your friend is telling you they just signed up to take art classes and suddenly you feel like taking art classes would be amazing, that's when you need to pause. Getting to share excitement about new hobbies and interests is one of the coolest parts about being a Reflector but we need to remember to avoid getting attached to these things.

By all means, research and go down the rabbit hole to learn about whatever grabs your interest but please do not go out and spend $500 on an electric piano because you're suddenly interested in taking piano lessons (that's one of mine!).

One way to pinpoint your own interests versus someone else's is by seeing how you feel about it when you're by yourself. And checking back in each day for a few days to see if that rush of excitement is still there. By that time, you'll be in a better position to know whose interest it is and what you're going to do about it.

If you have other Reflector questions, please feel free to share them via the "Ask a Reflector" button on the main Blog page, or send them via email to [email protected] 

**Special Announcement**
 

I was a speaker at the International Human Design Conference this weekend (Sept 8-10) and shared with the group a new program I've put together called Purposefully Aligned. This unique learning experience will take you through the Design-Purpose-Potential formula I created to help uncover your gifts, release stories that no longer serve you, and propel you towards alignment in a fully customized way.

All the details can be found here but there's a special offer I want to share with you! When you sign up before 11pm EST on Monday September 11th, you'll join at the discounted rate of only $111. You can choose to sign up anytime after that until we close the doors on September 25th, but the investment will be $333. 

 
I invite you to join now so you can start your decision making process. You'll have my Reflector Guarantee as well, which means that if you decide the program isn't a good fit, you'll get your full registration amount back with no questions asked. You'll even get to join us for the whole first live virtual session, and if you still don't feel it's a good fit for your journey, I am happy to give you a refund.

I'm so confident you'll love the transformation we're going on throughout this 6-week program, so go check it out!