Smaller Decisions For Reflectors

Alright, you've heard it time and time again: Reflectors must wait a lunar cycle for their decisions.

But what exactly are we to do about those smaller decisions points that we come face to face with everyday? And where do the medium sized decisions fall? So much confusion!

Here are some things to consider for your daily choices that don't involve any life-altering changes.

Start with What You Know You Want

I often wonder if Reflectors get stuck on how to make decisions because we're so conditioned to get permission for what we already know we want. That was definitely the case for me. When I wanted to start a business I would ask other people what they thought about it because I wanted someone to tell me I should do it. Their insights kept me in a loop of considering "what ifs" even though my heart was 100% certain that I already knew the answer.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself as a Reflector is self-awareness. Whether you like to journal or you use some other way to identify and express your deepest dreams, knowing at least a little bit about what you want will be a game changer for your decisions.

Yes, Reflectors are constantly changing and evolving. Yes, we can adapt to pretty much any situation. But no where in Human Design does it say that you're not a real person with real aspirations. Even if those things morph along the way, they're still hints about where you want to be as a person.

Let's use health as an example. If you're unhappy with your health and want to make some positive changes to how you eat and move your body, those changes will come from a thousand small decisions. You do not need to wait for a month to start going to the gym or taking an evening stroll after dinner.

We tend to overthink things, which keeps us in our thinking minds instead of listening to what our bodies want to tell us. Take inventory of what's important to you now so you can make easy choices that pull you closer to alignment with those goals.

Learn Your Values

If you haven't already done so, get clear on what your personal values are. What I've learned from Human Design is that our values tend to line up with themes from our individual charts, whether we know it or not. Long before I came across Human Design I went through an exercise to figure out what my own values were and lo and behold, it's like they were popped straight out of my chart!

Values run deep and are a great guide for making all kinds of decisions. For example, one of my highest values is Impact and when the opportunity to be a speaker at the International Human Design Conference came up, I knew it was an easy yes. It was easy even though it involved travelling to a different country and being around lots of people- two things that typically take me a long time to agree to. But because I already had a vision of how I want to contribute and have impact in the world, I knew I was on the right track even if it felt a bit uncomfortable at the beginning.

When your values are front and centre in your life, you start to see decisions you'd be willing to make for the sake of aligning with them.

Use A Soundboard

Since Reflectors are supposed to wait a lunar cycle so we can feel through decisions, you can talk it out with someone else to help work out what your feelings are. Using a soundboard simply means talking with someone who's going to be in more of a listening role than a problem-solving role, so it's important to let that person know up front what you need from them. You might say, "Hey, I need to talk some stuff out so I can get clear on how I feel about it. Can you listen to me work though this?"

This is different from a regular conversation because the goal is for you to hear how you speak about the issue, pick up on any reluctance, and make the decision on your own…without the other person's influence. If you bring it up without letting the other person know they're a soundboard, most people will jump right into telling you what you should do or sharing how they'd approach it. We don't want that right now.

Take A Little Time

We're so conditioned to give immediate responses that it seems impossible to wait for a day, let alone 28. Your smaller decisions are still important and the more you build decision time into your life, the easier these get.

I like to buy myself more time by saying I need to check my schedule and follow up later with an answer. But when you're the only one involved in the decision it's still super important not to rush. Those impulse decisions may not seem that bad in the moment but over time it forms a habit that's hard to break.

Consider your buying choices. It's never been easier to make a purchase with one click and have it delivered the same day, and sometimes this is great. But it makes it too easy for us Reflectors to get caught up in a moment of excitement or frustration and end up spending money on stuff we don't even want. I can't tell you how many times I've talked with friends and immediately bought whatever book, desk lamp, purse, or clothing item they were raving about. Each time I wished I waited because that buzz of excitement wore off really fast and I'd changed my mind before the item arrived at my house.

Practice taking your time when you decide on something, even if it's just an hour or two. I use my phone timer or a calendar reminder for later that day to revisit whatever I was considering. Oh, and it's perfectly acceptable to load up your Amazon cart and not buy a single thing! In fact, I get a lot of joy from deleting stuff in my Amazon cart and it feels like I'm being rewarded for waiting.

Say No

When I first started playing with my Strategy of waiting it was tough to get people off my back. They wanted answers ASAP and I didn't have the tools yet to know how to handle the daily and medium sized decisions. So, I started saying no to everything. Yep, if they were going to push me for an answer it was going to be a 'no'. This might seem harsh but when you over-commit or agree to things that are totally draining like I used to, the word 'no' can be a saving grace.

Saying no is a great way to buy yourself time so you can get a sense of how you really feel about the ask without someone breathing down your neck. You can always go back to them and say you've changed your mind if it feels good to you later on.

And for those of you who feel you can't say no, consider if you need to establish some boundaries in your life. Just because people ask you to agree to things doesn't mean you have to.

Trust Yourself

No one knows you better than you do. If you're totally spent every time you go out for dinner with your friends, it's up to you to figure out what to do about it. So many answers will come to you if you give yourself a bit time away from other people and then take action based on what your inner knowing says to you.

You were designed with everything you need to live your most aligned life, and now it's your turn to own it.

As a Reflector we get lots of conflicting messages about the whole wait a lunar cycle thing, so I'll leave you with one final thought. If at any time you don't feel a sense of knowing the path forward for your decision, the best thing to do is wait it out.

Let's help this speedy world slow down a little by normalizing our decision making process. Tell your friends and family you need some time to decide on things that are important to you, and ask for their support in making it happen.