Reflector Myths

If you've ever wondered how Reflectors are supposed to live by their human design with all the waiting and bizarre rules that apply to us, keep reading because this week we're busting through three major myths about Reflectors that'll help you see yourself and your design way more clearly.

I don't fault anyone for creating these false truths about Reflectors. Afterall, we're the 1% who operate differently than the other 99%, and most of the human design content out there was created by the other types trying to make sense of our type. However, I think Reflectors tend to get over-simplified when other types try to interpret us, and this leads to the same myths being repeated so often they sound like fact. 

Let's clear things up!

Myth #1: To make decisions Reflectors should wait a lunar cycle.

This particular misconception has two parts to it that I'd like to unravel. First, it suggests that Reflector decisions depend on waiting. I take issue with this in a big way because it is so misleading and probably the main cause of Reflectors feeling like living by their design is impossible. Imagine if I told you that you won't know the answer to a question for 28 days and during that time you should just sit around and wait for it to arrive? What a disempowering place to be in when all you want is an answer on how to move forward. If you've ever felt disheartened or annoyed by the whole waiting thing, trust me, you are not alone.

In reality, a Reflector's decision-making process is tied to the lunar cycle because the moon moves through all 64 human design gates during that timeframe. Now throughout this cycle you're going to feel the shifts in your mood, energy, focus, emotions, thought patterns, and so much more. Why? Because each gate has its own characteristics and you'll get to try them on as the moon moves through each one. The purpose of this is to help you understand how you really feel about the decision you'd like to make, by giving you access to all the feelings and all the ups and downs you'd experience by the changing gates. Once a whole cycle has gone by, you can feel pretty confident that you've felt the entire spectrum of changes in your body and are now in a place to decide if you liked how it felt, or not.

Ok, but we're still missing one piece of the puzzle during this supposed waiting cycle. Let's say you're at a decision point about your career and you'd like to consider moving to a new role. Your human design has set you up with all the tools you need to know what's in alignment for you and what isn't. However, this isn't a logical thinking exercise so throw away that pros and cons list. It won't help you here! Your body is your most powerful truth-teller and it will always steer you in the right direction. The caveat here is that you need to take some kind of action in order for your body to give you feedback on whether that action is aligned or moving you farther away from alignment.

To make your decision on the new role you could possibly see yourself in, you need to try it on first. I like to call this preparing for opportunity instead of the traditional waiting for 28 days. When you're preparing for opportunity you take small actions that give you a taste of what it would be like in that future state. For this job or role you're considering, you could start by putting on some work clothes that you'd be wearing in that kind of job and wearing them all day. How did you feel dressed in that particular way? Does it feel authentic to you? Another way to try on the decision using this same example, is to drive to the work site at the time of day you'd go into work, and stay out all day, driving home after the work day is finished. Can you start to see how you're putting yourself in a state that mimics what you'd be doing if you said yes to a new job? That's exactly the point.

Reflectors need to feel the experience in many different ways over the course of a lunar cycle so that our bodies can give us clues about whether it's a good option or not. Ok, so that clears up the whole waiting component but I said there were two parts to this misconception that Reflectors need to wait a lunar cycle to make decisions.

The second part is around the idea that all our decisions have to go through the lunar cycle. Again, can you imagine trying to make weekend plans or deciding something in the near future, only to force yourself to wait for 28 days? Absolutely not. The truth here is that not all decisions need 28 days. In fact, most decisions can be made quickly by Reflectors, so long as they don't have any real consequences. What I mean by this is that changes to your financial situation, where you live, the career you're in, and major decisions that impact your whole family probably should go through your lunar cycle so you get clarity on things first. But if the stakes are low, like which day trip to plan for the weekend, simply saying yes or no based on your values is a great strategy to aim for.

I've talked about this before, how Reflectors are super open with all nine centres undefined, and this allows us to gain a ton of wisdom and valuable insights just by being open to new experiences, new ways of thinking, new ways of using your energy, and so much more. Reflectors are meant to go with the flow throughout their daily life to make the most of those random situations that pop up out of nowhere. Like, if your neighbour asks you to go out for coffee and you end up having a beautiful conversation you otherwise would've missed out on.

Call it what you want but I'm convinced that serendipity is a major part of how Reflectors are meant to experience their day to day lives. And all of this, our decision-making process and how we go through it, is designed so we can show others who they are, which in turn has the potential to initiate positive change in the world. Wow, I didn't know I'd be going on that much of a rant around the misconception that Reflectors need to wait a lunar cycle to make decisions. It's something I feel so passionately about because we hear this repeated so often in the human design space even though it's not true. I don't want a single Reflector to ever feel discouraged from living by their design so we've gotta clear up these misconceptions.

Myth #2: Reflectors have inconsistent energy and can't hold down a job.

My blood is starting to boil here as I'm going through these myths because the more you hear these things talked about like they're set in stone, the easier it is to believe that you as a Reflector have no chance of living a productive and fulfilling life. And that is absolute garbage. Maybe you've heard Reflectors described as flakey, indecisive, unsure, or inconsistent before. I sure have. I also hear from other Reflectors every single week about these assumptions, and it breaks my heart, so let's clear things up.

When it comes to Reflectors having inconsistent energy, that part is actually true. I take issue with the word 'inconsistent' because it's used negatively here. Instead I like to say that we have fluctuating energy, which is much more accurate and it's neither good or bad. It just is! Our fluctuating energy is caused by the same force that gives us changes in our emotional state, creativity, expression, and sense of self. It's the moon! More specifically though, because we have nine undefined centres we're more sensitive to the characteristics of each gate than other types and we get to experience them all in a lunar cycle.

When you really understand the variations in your energy, you'll start seeing that this is a massive super power because you don't need huge chunks of time to make serious progress on the goals and dreams that are most important to you. This approach can be applied to any career or business as well, so rest assured that Reflectors can be successful in any line of work they choose! If you're not sure how to do this, please take a look at Reflector Essentials, our foundational program that walks you through the reframing steps to embrace these unique Reflector gifts.

Myth #3: Reflectors are misunderstood.

I snuck this one in because the other 99% of the population simply do not understand what it's like to be a Reflector, since they're all solar beings and we are lunar beings. We just operate differently, and that's ok. But one of the big issues I hear from Reflectors is that they desperately want to be understood, and I'd like to share my views on why this isn't the most useful approach.

First of all, the role we play in the human design ecosystem puts us in charge of evaluating and adjusting or calibrating others. We show people how they're living, and they get to decide if it's aligned with who they're meant to be. We show, they take action. That's where our responsibility stops. We are not designed to take all the steps towards change with the people who are changing, so it's important to recognize that distinction. Each design has a unique role and just because someone doesn't know how you do what you do, doesn't mean they don't love and appreciate you as a person.

I don't think Reflectors were ever meant to be fully understood by the other 99% because we have wisdom, knowing, and depth that can't possibly be explained. A thousand years ago if someone was a Reflector, they were probably the wise sage in their village and just by being around this wise being, the community members would get answers to questions about themselves. There was no pressure on the villagers to fully comprehend how the sage does what she does, it was just appreciated and valued in and of itself. But more importantly, and this is the most important point, you as a Reflector must understand and value yourself before you'll ever feel it from other people. If you're looking for external validation that you're on the right track or that your partner sees you for who you are, you will end up with a big pile of disappointment.

When I hear Reflectors say they feel misunderstood or unseen I immediately know that these feelings are a result of attachment to expectations. Any time you expect someone to make you feel a certain way, you're setting yourself up for disappointment because you can't control other people. And not only that, if you could control them and they could fully understand you, there's still no guarantee it would make feelings of being misunderstood disappear. The only person who can control how you feel is you, so it's 100% worth the effort to take back ownership of this area of your life. Without it, you will constantly be looking outside of yourself and it'll always come up short.

Now, I have to mention here that if you're finding yourself still getting hung up on some of these myths or you're not sure how work through them, I definitely recommend getting yourself into the Reflector Essentials program. It goes into much more depth and lets you explore whatever area of your design you're curious about. There's a link in the show notes if you'd like to take a closer look at Reflector Essentials.

I hope you enjoyed busting through these Reflector myths. If there are more of them you'd like me to cover, you can ask a Reflector question here.