Reflector Q&A: Part 2

Here's another round of Reflector Q&A where I'm answering some of the recently asked questions about the Reflector experience, busting some myths, and clearing up misconceptions.

Let's get started!

#1 How can Reflectors earn a living without forcing ourselves into jobs that don't align with our design?

I definitely felt this question on a personal level, since I struggled with it basically from the moment I graduated from university and got my first "real" job. All I could think was, "there's got to be more to life than this", and the disappointment grew steadily from there. 

Reflectors should get comfortable with the possibility of stepping away from traditional jobs and curating their own income-earning path. Having a job that requires you to do basically the same thing day in, day out, can be devastating if it's not a great fit for what you love doing at that point in your life.

Consider starting your own business or freelancing on the side, which can create new opportunities not only to get paid but to give you the variety and flexibility you need. This can be difficult if you allow others' expectations to get in the way. If you went to school for nursing but now want to be a creative writer, other people will certainly have their opinions about this. That's ok. It's your life, your purpose, and your alignment that's most important here.

It's ok to shift around and take on other positions as you grow and change. I held half a dozen different positions in the company I worked for over the course of about 11 years. Looking at it from the outside it might seem disjointed but that environment allowed me to keep things interesting and use my gifts in ways that were important to me during that time.

No one is going to walk up and offer the "perfect" job to you. You need to create those opportunities and stand up for what's most aligned for you. You can read more about Reflector careers here.

#2 How are Reflectors different from anyone else with an open centre?

Everyone aside from Reflectors has at least two centres defined, connected by a channel, so there are some people who are pretty open even though they might be a different type.

The big difference with Reflectors is twofold: The first is our connection to the Moon and how we experience all 64 gates in a 28-day lunar cycle. The second is our aura, which is sampling and resistant. We take small bites from the auras around us but don't fully let them in. If we did, it would probably overwhelm us!

No matter how open your chart is, if you're not a Reflector your aura will function differently based on your type. And for the non-Reflectors, you'll experience all 64 gates over the course of about a year, which means you get to feel each one for almost a week.

Curious about the Reflector's mysterious aura? Check out this blog post. 

#3 Everything I read about Reflectors says to go to bed before I'm tired. Why is this?

Ah, this is an area that irks me a little bit because when other types start telling Reflectors how to "be" a Reflector it sometimes just falls flat. This advice to go to bed before you're tired is really getting at the concept that Reflectors need some downtime to shake off any excess energy that might be lingering from the day.

What I've found is that when it comes to these so called rules, it's better to consider them as guidelines or areas where you can set up some boundaries, instead of taking it as a must-do.

You're the only one who can know what state you're in after a day at work or when you get home from a social function. If you feel a bit agitated or buzzing from the energy you picked up, you might want some quiet time away from other people (and stimuli) so you can decompress. Other times, you may feel perfectly at ease and not need anything in particular to fall asleep when your head hits the pillow.

You're the boss, you get to decide what you need.

#4 Is consistency even possible for Reflectors?

In one word, yes. Reflectors can have consistency in their lives with a few caveats.

• Consistency is created differently for us than for other types. For example, I publish blog posts every Sunday but I'm not writing them one at a time. I write when the inspiration hits me, and then they get scheduled to create a consistent experience on the blog. I like to call this the illusion of consistency because from the outside it looks perfectly consistent but the inner workings that got me there still honoured the Reflector experience. 
• Consistency doesn't always mean "same". When you think of having a consistent fitness routine to support your health, most people picture doing the same type of workout (like going to the gym) the whole time. For Reflectors, you may wish to have a consistent fitness routine but it's likely that the type of exercises and activities you choose will change from day to day or on some other timeline. Don't feel like you need to do the same thing in order for the benefits of a consistent routine to be effective.
• Consistency is an energetic commitment. As a Reflector there will be times you feel like you need rest, and maybe you've gotten good at recognizing those times so you can recharge. In the same way, you'll need to listen to your body for times when it's bringing you inspiration, physical energy, or focused thinking time, and use them when they come. The more you tap into your body and go with its flow, the more consistent you'll feel overall.

Here's some more info on consistency. 

#5 I just found out I'm a Reflector but I don't know enough to make any changes.

This is one of my favourite opportunities to help other Reflectors see that Human Design is not just about learning more stuff. Unlearning, or deconditioning, is equally if not more important than learning the ins and outs of your chart.

If you'd like to learn how to "be" a Reflector, I suggest fully embracing your strategy and authority. This means slowing your decisions down, noticing where you've made aligned or misaligned decisions in the past, and practicing in safe decision-making environments (like choosing what to eat for breakfast!).

Once you feel comfortable with your decision-making strategy, it's time to start questioning everything in your life. Ok, I'm kind of kidding here but not really. We have been conditioned by those around us since a young age and some of these beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes just won't serve you anymore. It's time to take a hard look at where these came from and ask yourself if it's helpful anymore. If not, it's time to let it go. Read more about deconditioning here.

I hope you found these Q&As helpful! As always, you can submit a Reflector question by clicking here, or by sending an email to [email protected].